Zac: I like playing that game on the Kindle because it’s good finger exercise.
Me: You know, finger exercise really doesn’t hold a lot of value.
Zac: It does. It will help me crack walnuts.
Me: Is cracking walnuts a skill you think you need?
Zac: Of course.
Tutoring *GIGGLE* *GIGGLE*
A conversation we had just now:
Zac: “There is this site called K-12. Can we go on it?”
Me: “No, that costs money. It’s a tutoring site.”
Zac: *giggle* “Tutoring…” *giggle* “Wait, what’s tutoring?”
Yeah, he’s still a boy. I mean, there’s just no way around things like this.
Name-Calling
A little insight into the mind of a six-year-old at the dinner table tonight:
Zac: “Jasmine is always mean to me so sometimes I’m mean to her.”
Katy: “In what way are you mean to her?”
Zac: “Sometimes I just won’t talk to her for a whole day.”
Me: “Oh, well…that’s interesting.”
Zac: “Yeah, and she’s always calling me names.”
Katy: “She does? What kind of names?”
Zac: “Mac.”
Katy: “She calls you Mac?”
Zac: “Yeah, anything with an ‘ac’.”
Katy: “Like Jack?”
Zac: “Yeah. I don’t like it when she calls me names.”
Yep, that’s my boy.
Armpits?
Got this little gem when we walked into Target this afternoon, just completely out of the blue:
Zac: I wish everybody in the world could have smelly armpits…but not us.
Me: Um, what?
Gangster?
Zac just now…
Zac: I feel like a gangster right now.
Me: You feel like a gangster?
Zac: Yep.
Me: Why would you say you feel like a gangster?
Zac (whispering in my ear): Dad, is a gangster an animal?
Me: Ummm, no. A gangster is generally a bad person.
Zac: Oh.
VBS Pictures
Katy is showing Zac pictures taken last week during VBS. Looking at one slide where he wasn’t visible….
- Katy: “Zac, where are you in this picture?”
- Zac: “I’m not there. I’m in the bathroom.”
After a chuckle from all of us:
- Zac: “Alright. That was funny.”
Big Hair
Aiee. Last night on the way home…
Zac: When I get big hair I can get married.
Me: When you get big hair you can get married? Is that what you said?
Zac: Yeah.
Tickling Results
Just now…
Zac: Mommy, when you tickle me I freak out.
Then, after we laughed silently to each other, his very next line was…
Zac: When I do the chicken dance it makes me crazy.
Ummmm, what?
A Poo Discussion
Zac: Dad, poo shoots out your behind, right?
Dad: Uh, yeah, Zac. I guess so.
Zac: Yeah, and sometimes it comes out slow.
Dad: Well…sure.
Zac: And sometimes it comes out fast. It shoots out fast.
Dad: OK.
Jingle Bells, Zac Style
Zac watches a lot of Batman, so he’s seen the Joker singing the following song. Apparently he heard it differently, however, because on the way in to Lincoln this morning:
Zac: Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid the eggs
Revised Elmer Fudd
After watching Looney Tunes this morning…
Zac: Peel the rabbit…peel the rabbit.
Katy: Peel the rabbit?
Zac: Yeah! Peel the rabbit…peel the rabbit.
When I mentioned to him that Elmer Fudd has trouble with the letter “r” and that it’s actually “Kill the wabbit”, it didn’t phase Zac at all. He kept singing, “Peel the rabbit…peel the rabbit.” 🙂
Thomas the Tank Engine’s Color
Tonight, while reading a Thomas the Tank Engine book…
Zac: Thomas is red.
Me: Yes, Thomas has red on him.
Zac: Umm, when I will be Thomas, I won’t need red because I already have red on my bottom.
Me: Uh, yeah, that’s true. You did have a sore bottom tonight and it was red.
Zac: (begins giggling)
Sleeping
Overheard the other day…
Zac: My leg hurts.
Katy: Why does your leg hurt?
Zac: Because I slept hard.
Katy: You slept hard?
Zac: Yeah.
New ZBB Words
Tonight on the way home, the Zac Brown Band song, “Free”, was on the radio. Zac loves music, so he was paying attention and singing along. About 2/3 of the way through the song, ZBB sings, multiple times, “No we don’t have a lot of money…no we don’t have a lot of money…” and so on. At the end of that section, it transitions into, “All we need is love…”, then goes on. Apparently, Zac had a different idea:
ZBB: “No we don’t have a lot of money…All we need is love….”
Zac’s Version: “No we don’t have a lot of money…All we need is more money…”
An Interesting Subject
The other night, after reading Zac a Bible story, Katy told him that he could talk to Jesus whenever he wanted to because Jesus is always here. This seemed to interest Zac, which led to this:
Katy: You can talk to Jesus anytime.
Zac: I want to talk to him.
Katy: What would you talk to him about?
Zac: Umm, something about a steak.
And the hits, they just keep on comin’…
It’s Called A What?
Last night on the drive home, the following conversation occurred:
Zac: When we get home, I want to put my water in the frigelator.
Me: You want to put it in the refrigerator.
Zac: When we get home, I want to put my water in the frigelator.
Me: Refrigerator.
Zac: I want to put my water in the frigelator.
Me: Refrigerator.(Long Pause)
Zac: I want to put it in the freezer.
Zacchaeus
Last night’s Bible story was about Zacchaeus. After the story was read…
Katy: Zac, what was the story about?
Zac: Jesus and the man had dinner.
Katy: They had dinner? Well what did they have?
Zac: A scary chicken dinner.
More Goats
Looks like the whole goat/shower connection has come full circle, because after Zac helped me water the plants last night, he said this:
Mommy, I need a shower. I smell like a goat.
So what goes around really does come around.
A New Color
Today on the drive home from Lincoln…
Mommy, look at my neck. It’s a different color. A new color for Zachary Trace.
Ummm, OK?
Loaves & Fishes…Or Was It?
Each night Katy reads a story from Zac’s toddler Bible, then asks him a few questions to see whether or not he was listening. The other night was the story of how Jesus fed thousands of followers with the bread and fish from one boy’s basket. After reading the story:
Katy: Zac, what did Jesus do?
Zac: He gave people food.
Katy: That’s right. What kind of food?
Zac: Ummm, chicken.
Katy: Chicken? He gave them chicken?
Zac: Yes, chicken.
Katy: OK, well what else did he give them?
Zac: Cookies!
Katy: He fed them chicken and cookies?
Zac: Ummm, yeah.
OK, then…
Sandals
Zac: Mommy, I need new sandals.
Katy: Zac, we just bought you these new ones.
Zac: Yeah, but these aren’t working for me.
A Typical Quote
In an effort to preserve, for posterity if you will, the comic stylings of my 3-year-old, I’ll push updates every time I get a new quote from him that is, well, blog-worthy. Don’t worry…there will be plenty. Let’s get started with the ones I remember. In the future, I’ll try to post by day in short format.
On our way back from JC Penney a few months ago, we drove over a little “hill” in the road, the kind that make you go “Woohoo!”. In the back seat I hear Zac say, “Better be careful…moron.”
Quote on the morning of May 15th when one of us mentioned we were headed to take a shower, “I don’t need to take a shower. I don’t smell like a goat.”
A few weeks ago, Zac woke up with a dirty pull-up. When Katy opened it up, Zac asked, “What did I EAT?”
Last Saturday night, while playing in the yard at his Nana & Puddin’s house, Zac walks up to them and says, “I am one happy fella!”
Last night, on the drive home, after hearing me mention the driver in front of me was driving like crap, I hear this question from the back seat, “Daddy, why you say ‘crap’?”
Stand by as I ask Katy for more input on things I’ve forgotten and share them here, and for future posts.
Musings of My Offspring 